Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Welcome to this Crazy Ass Blog

Welcome crazy moms!  I know I'm not alone in the journey of raising kids today.  That's why I'm starting this crazy ass blog.  Please be my friend if you share my views...

I am loud, obnoxious, and I used to say what I was thinking OUT LOUD, until I met some "psycho" moms, maybe you! (Notice: you are not the crazy ones.)  Now I just say it under my breath or come home and bitch to my husband.  I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. You psycho moms are a species all to yourselves.  You are the super mom that I can never be.  You are the ultimate party giver.  You have more than one close girlfriend-in fact, you are the "popular" girl in the neighborhood.  I am the mom who doesn't socialize because I found out it's like high school all over again. You drive in your minivan at 60 MPH in a 20 MPH speed zone in my neighborhood because junior has to be somewhere NOW!  Don't worry about MY kid in the driveway that gets body slammed against OUR minivan because you're going too fast.

Damn. I wish you knew me back when I USED to be somebody.  I would have videotaped your ass driving 100 MPH(yes, it IS 100 now!), found out where you lived, and beat your ass.  Back in the day.  Now I have a kid, and I have to be a role model; even if it means I'm screaming curse words at you while you're recklessly driving in my neighborhood.  I used to be a person, before I became a mom.

I used to be a social butterfly, now I'm a homebody.

I used to be somewhat thin, now I'm not.

I used to have great skin, now I have hairs growing out of my chin.

I used to shave my legs, now I do it on special occasions.

I used to not care about the (small) injustices in the world, now I do.

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