I Am So Not a Baker

I have been trying to break into the cupcake world.  I absolutely HATE to bake-anything.  Yet I keep watching "Cupcake Wars" and thinking, "I can do that!"

No, I really can't.

My daughter and I just made cupcakes for like the fifth time and they suck yet again.  Last time I burned them.  This time I made sure not to keep them in too long and even moved the rack up so they wouldn't burn.  They didn't burn.  But this is what came out of the oven (this was after frosting):

Sunken, disgusting looking things.  

I was told by a friend who bakes a lot, Cul-de-Sac Mom, that I should add sour cream.  I think I was supposed to cut down on the oil.  The cupcakes taste like fucking canola oil bites.  I'm guessing that's why they sunk in the middle.  How fucking hard is it to make a decent batch of cupcakes???

Don't even get me started on the frosting.  I have one of those Pampered Chef cake decorator thingies that's been sitting in my cupboard, unused, for at least 5 years.  I was so happy when I found it so I wouldn't have to buy the disposable bags.  You'd think that would make it easy to frost, right?

You'd be wrong.

I ALWAYS end up with too much frosting on the first ten or so and then run out.  So then I have to take a knife and swipe some frosting from the ones that are sky-high and smear it on the leftovers.  The current batch has 3 unfrosted cupcakes.

Maybe one day my cupcakes will look like this, but I doubt it.  These were made by Cul-de-Sac Mom for my daughter's fourth birthday:

                                                     Photo Courtesy of Cul-de-Sac Mom