1. Political Bullshit.
If all your posts are about Romney slamming Obama, or vice versa, I'm going to hide your feed. Do you not have anything else to talk about?
2. Flame Wars.
This one kind of goes with #1. Don't start them. Would you REALLY say whatever you just said to that person's face? Yeah, no. So shut the fuck up and go hide behind your computer some more.
3. Every Status Update is About Your Old/New Illness.
All. The. Fucking. Time. It's either "I have a HUGE headache" (like the one you had every day last week), or "My stomach hurts AGAIN!" Do you like the pity parties you get? 50 comments of 'get well soon, hon!' It must be an ego boost I don't understand. Or maybe it's to see how popular you are. Whatever, I don't care!
4. People I Haven't Talked to in 20 Years Talk to Me Like I'm Their Best Friend.
Ok, this one I can see IF you were good friends at one point. But if we were mutual acquaintances in high school, and now you message me every fucking day about your problems, I'm not interested. So stop.
5. People Who Write Letters to Companies/People in Their Statuses to People That Will Never Read Them.
I'm talking about the "Dear Land's End, I'm not happy with the shirt you sent me because..." or "To the person who stole my phone..." Why? The person who stole your phone isn't going to read your status. Again with the sympathy. If you're unhappy with a company, write THEM, not us. I've learned Facebook is a great way to air your dissatisfaction with a company and get it resolved quickly! So many people see your gripe, and companies don't want the bad publicity.
6. Too Much Information.
I'm somewhat guilty of this, but only on my public page (because I can HIDE! Ha!) I don't want to hear about heavy your period is this month. Nor do I want to hear about how your husband (who I'm also friends with) ravaged you last night. Why the hell do you want all of your acquaintances to know these things??
7. People Who Let Their Kids Get a Facebook Account.
Under the age of 13, which is Facebook's law. Inevitably, these 10 year olds 'friend request' me. I want to post whatever the fuck I want, and not have to worry about my friend's niece reading inappropriate content. YOUR KID SHOULDN'T NEED INTERNET SOCIALIZATION AT THE AGE OF 10. Or younger. The younger the kid, the bigger tool the parent is. Tell your kid to go outside and play.
8. Companies That Give Away Free Stuff Then Act Surprised When Their Servers Crash.
I'm all about the coupons and freebies in social media. I luckily happened to be there when companies first started to realize the impact of social media. I even got a free pair of Lee Jeans because I was one of the first people who responded when they had a major snafu! Now, these companies should be prepared. If you are advertising that you are giving something away in the future, GET PREPARED! You have to know that the minute it goes live, like 100,000 people are trying to access it. Test it, make it bigger, do whatever you have to do.
9. People Who Bitch About Not Getting a Freebie/Coupon.
These people deserve a punch in their uteruses. It's FREE. The company doesn't OWE you because you were the fucking jizbag who wasted 2 hours trying to get the freebie. They didn't even have to offer it.
10. People Who Don't Get My Well-Thought-Out, Hilarious Status Updates.
Yeah, you know who you are. I post these awesome, hilarious things. And no one even likes it! They're probably thinking the same thing about my statuses as I am about theirs. I'm funnier, though.
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